You want to keep your grill looking sharp so you can show it off at the club, right? Then you’ve got to give it the proper respect and make sure nothing steps in to smash its mojo. Because the grill is central to the mojo. Once you lose that, you might as well just stay home and watch Mythbusters reruns.

These substances are notorious for taking sparkly, shiny grills like yours and thrashing them righteously and without remorse. When you’re using them, remember to be careful and maintain your grill. Otherwise you’ll be out one grill, and that’s all bad.

The sugar

You need to put something on your corn flakes, but if you keep eating the sweets and forget to brush the grill for a few months, your grill will end up looking like a burnt-out house. These fools learned the hard way:

“Dude, I’d slap your face, but I might catch leprosy.”

“I bet that would hurt if you weren’t such a goon.”

The chew

It’s a little gross to be spitting everywhere like a baseball player, but if you just maintain your grill while you partake in the chew, you won’t end up like these losers:

“Is that where you’re getting your ‘Loser’ tattoo?”

“I’d feel bad for you, but I’m too busy staring in contempt.”

The alcohol

No one here is going to tell you not to drink – after all, how do you expect to dominate the dance floor? Enjoy your drink, but keep it under control so you don’t go all hobo and neglect your grill, like these people:

“Obviously a Don Julio drinker.”

The smoking

You have to take extra good care of your grill if you’re smoking, because that shit will make your grill look like a freeway. These unfortunate fools didn’t pay attention, and now their grills are ruined:

“Whoa, have you been doing some gardening with your face?”

“Too bad you had to lose one, you had something special going on.”

The meth

This is the granddaddy of grill thrashers. Meth will make your shit wig out and forget about everything, including your grill, and you’ll wake up looking like these sad fools:

“Man, you look like your daddy made stone tools.”

“I think I just saw you in a halloween store.”

“Every time you smile I want to call the fire department.”

The Grillz Message

Remember, keep the party going, but keep the grill in mind while you’re enjoying your vices. Grillz out.